Trump and Zelensky: Abuse Isn’t Just at Home — How Power and Control Play Out on the World Stage

If you’ve ever dealt with an abusive person—whether in a relationship, at work, or in a bar fight—you know the playbook. It’s not about what’s right or fair. It’s about control. It’s about making you question yourself, shifting blame, and keeping you on the back foot.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: these tactics don’t just live in personal relationships. They show up everywhere—especially in politics. One of the clearest recent examples? The public interaction between Donald Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky.

Now before you roll your eyes and tune out because “politics,” stay with me. This isn’t about red vs. blue. It’s about recognizing abusive patterns—because if we can spot them on the world stage, we damn well better be able to spot them in our own lives. The way Trump treated Zelensky followed the same blueprint we see in toxic relationships: gaslighting, shaming, victim-blaming, and isolation. Let’s break it down.

Gaslighting: “You Should Be Grateful”
Gaslighting is classic manipulation. It makes the victim question their own reality, emotions, and sense of worth. In this case, Trump questioned whether Zelensky was being “grateful enough” for U.S. support. The guy’s country was being invaded—and instead of backing him, Trump treated him like a child who forgot to say thank you. That’s gaslighting. It reframes the victim’s legitimate needs as inappropriate or ungrateful, keeping them dependent and unsure of their own judgment.

In domestic abuse, this sounds like:
“I never said that.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You should be grateful I put up with you.”
The goal is confusion and self-doubt. And it works.

Shaming: “You Look Stupid”
Trump also mocked Zelensky’s appearance. Not because it mattered—but because abusers attack anything to undermine confidence. When they can’t win the argument, they go personal. If you’ve argued with a narcissist, you’ve seen this. You bring up a concern, they pivot to calling you embarrassing or incompetent.

In abusive relationships, this sounds like:
“Why do you look like that?”
“You should be more like [insert name here].”
“You’re embarrassing me.”
This tactic isn't about solving problems—it’s about making the victim feel too small to resist.

Victim Blaming: “This Is Your Fault”
Trump implied that Ukraine’s crisis was its own doing. That they weren’t doing “enough.” Classic victim-blaming. Instead of acknowledging the threat from Russia, he turned the responsibility onto the person being attacked.

In domestic abuse, this sounds like:
“You made me do this.”
“If you weren’t so difficult, I wouldn’t have to yell.”
“You bring this on yourself.”
It’s a psychological trap. If the victim starts to believe it’s their fault, they’ll work harder to fix things that were never their fault to begin with.

False Promises: “We’ll Protect You”
Here’s one of the harshest parts of abusive dynamics: false promises that make it feel impossible to leave. Ukraine gave up nuclear weapons based on security promises from the U.S.—promises that failed when it mattered most. That’s not unlike what abuse victims are told: “I’ll change.” “You can’t survive without me.” “No one else will help you.” By the time the lies are exposed, the support system is gone and the victim is isolated, financially or emotionally dependent, and unsure of their worth.

Recognize the Patterns
Most of us aren’t international leaders. But these same tactics show up in relationships, workplaces, business partnerships—you name it. The patterns are universal. So what can you do?

✅ Trust Your Gut: If something feels off, it probably is. Gaslighting works by making you question yourself. Don’t.
✅ Look for Cycles, Not Just Incidents: One rude comment is one thing. A pattern of gaslighting, shaming, and blame-shifting? That’s manipulation.
✅ Reach Out: Talk to someone—friends, support groups, counsellors. You’re not overreacting.
✅ Call It Out: If you see someone using these tactics on someone else, speak up. Abusers thrive in silence.

This blog isn’t about who you vote for. It’s about power and how it gets misused. If we can recognize abuse in big, public interactions, we can’t ignore it when it’s happening closer to home. Whether it’s on a global stage or in your kitchen, abuse is abuse. Don’t normalize it. Don’t excuse it. And definitely don’t stay silent about it.

If you or someone you know is dealing with these tactics—gaslighting, shaming, victim-blaming—it’s not your fault. And you’re not alone.

Let’s call it what it is. Let’s talk about it. And let’s make sure no one, anywhere, gets away with abusing their power.

—Randy
@randykinglive
#DomesticViolenceAwareness #Gaslighting #PowerAndControl #ToxicLeadership #NoMoreExcuses #SelfDefenseForRealLife #CallItOut