How Predators Select Victims

If you want to understand self-defense, you have to understand the people you're defending against. Predators don’t attack at random. They watch. They test. They select. And they do it with terrifying precision.

In Before, During, After: The Timeline of Self-Defense, we break this down in depth: how predators operate, why certain people are picked, and most importantly—what you can do to avoid being selected. Here’s a clear breakdown based on real-world experience, survivor interviews, and behavioral science.

Predators Select for Compliance, Not Combat
Most people think predators want a "fight"—they don’t. They want compliance. They’re looking for someone who will freeze, stay quiet, and not resist. This is why understanding selection is the most powerful proactive self-defense tool you can develop.

1. Body Language Is the First Test
Predators are experts at reading body language. It’s their job. They scan for signs of weakness, distraction, or compliance. Slouched posture, hesitant movement, scanning the ground instead of the environment—these are cues that someone is not assertive and may not resist. In the book, we discuss how to adjust your physical presence—not to posture aggressively, but to broadcast awareness and agency. It's not about looking like a fighter. It's about looking like someone who will say no.

2. They Use the “Interview”
Predators often use subtle social tests—called the Interview—to check your boundaries. They might ask seemingly innocent or odd questions, stand too close, or push past your comfort zone to see how you respond. These moments matter. If you respond passively, they see green lights. But if you set a clear verbal or physical boundary, many predators will move on to someone easier.

3. Vulnerability Isn't Always Obvious
It’s not just about who looks weak—it’s who isn’t paying attention. Stress, grief, intoxication, or distraction all impact how alert and assertive you appear. From a predator’s perspective, emotional or social vulnerability is an opportunity. In Before, During, After, we emphasize that the goal is not perfection. It’s presence. You don’t have to be fearless—you just have to be paying attention.

4. They Use Proximity and Familiarity
The majority of real-world violence doesn’t come from strangers in alleyways—it comes from people you know. This is especially true in cases of sexual violence, grooming, or intimate partner violence. Predators often build trust before they strike. They place themselves in positions where they have access, control, and plausible deniability. This is why boundary-setting and awareness need to extend into familiar spaces too—friends, family, co-workers, partners.

5. Predators Exploit Environment
They pick locations that favour their success. Bathrooms in bars, stairwells, isolated parking lots, or loud social gatherings. These are environments where you're less likely to get help or be noticed. A strong self-protection strategy includes environmental awareness—always know where your exits are, stay near allies, and avoid being isolated with someone you don’t trust.

6. Digital Footprints Are Hunting Grounds
Modern predators use your social media like a playbook. They can study routines, vulnerabilities, and even manipulate contact through fake personas or catfishing. In the book, we discuss how to manage your digital boundaries and keep your information from becoming an invitation.

This Isn’t About Fear—It’s About Strategy
Learning how predators select victims is about power. Your power. When you know the selection criteria, you can become a harder target without needing to throw a single punch. Remember, the first stage of self-defense isn't physical. It's behavioral. It's about being someone who is less likely to be picked in the first place.

What You Can Do Right Now

• Cultivate confident body language and awareness

• Practice setting boundaries—physically, emotionally, and verbally

• Stay alert in familiar and unfamiliar environments

• Be intentional with your online presence and who gets access

• Learn to spot grooming tactics and manipulative patterns

Understanding predator behaviour changes how you see the world—and how the world sees you. Want to dig deeper into this topic? Get on the list for Before, During, After: The Timeline of Self-Defense and learn the real skills that keep you from becoming a statistic.

Randy